It’s unfortunate, but most of us never got educated on how to have sex.
I don’t mean the education on how to put on a condom or how to say no, which are both very valid topics to be aware of. Safe sex should always be the nr.1 priority, but how many of you can honestly say that you have been educated on pleasurable sex? Their are some tutorials out there on fallatio and cunnalingus and no doubt, you will find some wonderful tips from educational resources you seek out. Without real time practice and real time feedback, you just don’t really know how well you are doing. So don’t leave a huge elephant in the room hanging. Let’s get into it.
- Talk about it! Foreplay does not start in the bedroom. Talking about what you like and what you dislike is already like a visualization practice building up dopamine and excitement for the possibilities of what is to come. Confess your fantasy of being intimate in nature, or of a position you have always wanted to try and see what follows. Research shows that couple’s who share their sexual fantasies with one another, have significantly better relationships, regardless of whether those fantasies are realized or not.
- Get comfortable with anatomy! Did you know that for the first 6 weeks of fetal development, the both male and female genitals are exactly the same? Yes, exactly the same, after that a process of differentiation happens whereby gonadal tissue will develop into either testes or ovaries. What practical use this is for us, is knowing that the male and female anatomy is not so different after all. In fact, the clitoris can be thought of as an internal penis and can actually be as long as 5 inches. That means that if you know how to be sensual with yourself, you already have a pretty good map for pleasing your partner.
- The art of touch. Did you know that touch is actually a primal need? Studies show that primate babies cannot survive without touch. Most of us don’t nearly get enough physical touch and often find it awkward in knowing how to give or receive. In learning about how to touch your partner, get familiar with the different qualities of touch. How does a nurturing touch feel vs therapeutic touch, and how does sensual touch compare to these, where does sexual touch fit into this? Many people are actually dissatisfied by the way their lovers touch them. By learning to distinguish between the different kinds of touch, you’ll be able to hit the spot just right.